Defining Our Relationship

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There comes a time in romantic relationships where you have to define the relationship. This “Define The Relationship” (DTR) conversation establishes the level of commitment of both parties to each other and the relationship type (Are we just friends or boyfriend – girlfriend? Are we dating casually or exclusively? What relationship territory are we in? Where do we stand with each other?).

According to relationship counselors, the DTR discussion is an element of a healthy relationship, it is a mutual agreed discussion where both parties consider the future of the relationship….without this discussion, many relationships flow undefined and most parties end up being unsure of their role, position and standing in the relationship, giving assumptions and uncertainty a strong foothold in their lives….

If defining our level of commitment is vital to the life of a healthy earthly relationship then defining our level of commitment in a healthy spiritual relationship is equally vital. As Christians and spiritual beings, we have to reach a place where we define our relationship with Christ. Note, we define our relationship with Christ – not our circumstances define…, our earthly circles define…, or our upbringing defines…but we define our relationship with Christ.

So think about it…what type of relationship do you have with God…How would you define your relationship with God? Are you in an exclusive relationship with Him or is your relationship strictly casual? Have you had an honest conversation with Him about your relationship together?

Truth be told, many of us are so broken from the highs and lows of loving other gods that we find it difficult to love God. We allow our trust issues to seep into our spiritual relationship and rob us of the opportunity to deeply experience love on a higher level. And some of us have made previous commitments to God to love Him with everything within our being and like Jerusalem in Ezekiel 16 we ran to affairs with our jobs, passions, pursuits, and earthly relationships. And some of us charmingly dance in circles in an attempt to postpone, delay or dodge having the discussion with Christ about our relationship status.

Today, despite our emotional baggage and our relationship phobias, God is saying, ‘You have shared your intimate moments with someone else…still I love you. You have shared your affection and attention with someone worthy of betraying your love…still I love you. You have made me one of many and not your one and only…still I love you. You are emotionally empty, and unfaithful….still I love you. Would you fully commit yourself to me – spend time with me (through bible study and prayer), tell others about me (let others know of my goodness so they can experience a love that is bigger than this universe), shower me with gifts and affection (worship me)? Would you let me teach you how to love and love you immensely and intensely? Would you deflate your fears, ego, and self-sufficiency and allow Me to show you a love that is safe and secure?’

Be honest with yourself and God – admit your struggles that prevent you from fully committing yourself to Him. Be honest about God’s love – when we consider His record, we clearly see that He is faithful (Deuteronomy 7:9 – Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations), He is honest (Numbers 23: 19 – God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?), He is caring (Nahum 1:7 -The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him), He is strong (Psalm 28:8 – The LORD is the strength of his people, a fortress of salvation for his anointed one), and He is loving (Proverbs 8: 17 – I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me).

Be honest with your heart – there is Someone who longs for an intimate, committed relationship with you and He is waiting to work with you to change your relationship status…would you have a DTR discussion with Him today?

– Dee

(c) 2014, Dentrecia Blanchette

1 comments on “Defining Our Relationship”

  1. This was an excellent read.

    DTRs (I learned a new term today) are essential for healthy relationships. As awkward as they may seem to be, they are necessary; and the sigh of relief at the end, and the clear paths forward for your feet, make DTRs worth it.

    God has already initiated the DTR with us (i.e. the Bible); so let’s not delay in responding.

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